They said it would get easier...

When I went back to work for the first time after having Gabriel I was a wreck. Calling every chance I got to see if he was doing ok, if he was eating, if he was napping. My mom watches him while I work so I know for a fact he's in good hands but I hate leaving him. I kept having people tell me that it would get easier and that it's healthy for me to be away from him for a few hours but honestly, it isn't easier and I still hate leaving him. After having a three day break from work, I did not want to go back today. I was tearing up as I was on the road to work, thinking how much I would rather stay home with him and play with him, and how I wish I hadn't spent so much money on my credit cards on dumb things because I would've been able to stay home or at least only work 20 hours at the most.  I hate having to work...Someday I will be able to stay home and spend time with my kids...I feel that I am missing out on precious moments with him. And I just felt like sulking today, hence the post.