Of course, I'm happy that I have a healthy and beautiful boy to show for the belly and I didn't expect to loose the weight so quickly and for my body to go back to normal but never did I imagine this! I don't even weight that much, but my body is completely out of whack. I weighed myself the other day and I am only three pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight but I don't look it and it makes me sad. I hate going shopping and trying on clothes because nothing looks right. And even if it does, I don't feel comfortable.
So why haven't I gotten off my butt and started toning? Why have I been paying 40 dollars a month for a gym membership that I haven't used in almost two years? In retrospect, I realize that is well over 800 dollars that I could have saved. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be the day I get up and go for a run, start a workout routine or at least start eating healthier. But I'm too darn lazy. I want to look good again, and better yet, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I need to do it for myself. True, I want my husband to look at me and actually like my body again, he doesn't say he doesn't like him but then again he's much smarter than to say it out loud and cause an emotional meltdown. He does tell me to go for a run because he knows how much I hate my body. Ideally, I would love to look great in a nice pair of jeans or a great skirt, I want to have the confidence to someday wear a bikini, although the stretch marks will probably stop that ambition, but I just want to love my body again.
I need to stop using the "I'm to tired, I'm up too early, on my feet for eight hours a day, I come home and want to nap and I have to take care of the baby" excuse. I mean, I sit in front of the darn computer, I should be able to run the the high school and do a few laps on the track, or at least pop in a 30 minute work out dvd while Gabriel naps. And I most definitely need to stop the bad eating habits of eating crap, lately french fries, chocolate, bread, when I'm bored.
So, instead of raiding the fridge tonight, I have come to the realization that it's time for a change. Great, I'm so looking forward to working out...