I have changed. He has changed. While I am not saying I will give up a glass of wine or a few drinks forever and never ever go out and have fun, I just don't feel the need to do it anymore. I have fun sitting at home with my son, playing peek-a-boo and chasing after him.
I don't really know what the latest chart toppers or club hits are, the songs I know now are all along the lines of singing "Old Macdonald" to my kid to see him giggle and laugh uncontrollably.
I feel like I'm such an old person sometimes, I realize how much my life has changed and how much better it is now that I actually have something meaningful in my life. I don't think that even in those days I was a complete irresponsible girl. I knew that I wanted to someday have a family, I knew that he would be the man I would marry and I knew that if I were to get pregnant we would be able to support our child and act like the adults we are now. It's not that I think that I am better than those young mom's out there, I know I am not the best but I do strive to give my son everything I can and make sure he is getting everything he needs, not only physically but emotionally and developmentally. I do realize I am turning 21 in one month from tomorrow, and I do remember how I had planned a trip to vegas for my big 2-1 but things change. People change. Priorities change. I know I'm not going to deprive myself of having a life, which is what people say I am doing, but my son is my life now. And while I do see friends of mine celebrating their 21st birthdays, going out for drinks and acting, well, like a young person, and I do admit, I do find myself living vicariously though them but, I don't want to be them. I have never been so fulfilled in my life, I don't feel like I'm missing out because I have something worth more than a bottle of Captain Morgan or a shot of Patron, I have a beautiful son who with one smile gives me more of a buzz and a high than any drug or type of alcohol.
Yes, those days were fun, but the ones to come will be a billion times better!