Sunday, October 18, 2009
I know I shouldn't but,
I can't help but feel sad and even envious when I find out that someone is pregnant or has just had a baby. Not envious in the sense that I wish something would happen to the person or the baby, never the bad kind of jealousy, I just wish it was me. While I'm congratulating the Mother-to-be or holding the new baby I am trying to choke back the tears. I don't know why it hurts me so badly, maybe it's the fact that I know I can't have another baby now and that my husband doesn't want another one right now. Maybe it's the fact that I wish I was the one giving the news about my BFP or cradling my new baby but I shouldn't feel that way. I am happy for the friends and family who are adding another member to their family, but I wish I was too.