Tomorrow is the day...

Finally, after months and months of planning, his birthday party is here...well a few hours away but still, it's right around the corner. My house is full of presents and boxes filled with party supplies. I swear, I'm making myself sick to my stomach just thinking about tomorrow and Iknow that I just need to chill out and enjoy the party no matter what happens. I guess I am really just nervous and sad and excited and stressed! I wish my husband was home. I think that's the bottom line, I dont want to feel sad and get all depressed because he's not going to be with us on this special day that we were looking forward to so much and I'm trying to keep myself busy in order to avoid those feelings. I know that Gabriel isn't going to remember the party but I guess deep down, I just want it to be a happy day, make it seem like I'm not hurting on the inside to not have my husband home. 

I shouldn't be feeling this way, mostly it's the stress and exhaustion talking and I should be in bed since I have to be up early and have a busy, busy day ahead. 

Is it Monday yet?

I want this party to be DONE with! I know it's going to be good but really, I'm tired! I'm stressing about everyting to do with the party! I want to be able to relax and not worry about having to finish the goody bags and just sit down and play with my munchkin. People aren't RSVP'ing, I have to finish the goody bags, pick up the cake, get some coffee, be there in time to decorate everything and I just feel like some of my stress would be eased if my husband were home...At least he would be here to help me with some of it, I know I would still be stressed regardless but still...

So big!

Today we had our WIC appointment and Gabriel got measured and weighed. And the numbers are in....*drumroll please*27 lbs 8 oz (with clothes and diapers)

and 32 in

I don't really trust the WIC people since last time the numbers were way off. The weighed him at 26 lbs and when we went to the doctors he was 25 lbs and like 10 oz. But I suppose it's nice to have an "estimate" of his weight.

We also had a playdate with my friend Adrienne and her little munchkin Brandon. They are interacting so much more now and its so cute to watch them play and "talk" to eachother. They are too stinkin cute!

"You're still doing it?"

Throughout my almost 21 years of life I have learned a very important lesson in life- people are morons. I know, I know, I shouldn't generalize but if you think that people are morons, when you lower your expectations of them and aren't surprised when they say or do something stupid and ignorant. Everyday I deal with hundreds, ok, maybe not hundreds but close enough, of people at work. I'm not going to say that everyone is dumb but maybe it's just the customers that come into our store, but I swear, everyday I have to listen to people make some dumb comment to me. Today's dumb comment took the cake though.  I was at work today and a customer came in and ordered her drink. She asked me how I was doing and I confessed to her that I was scared that Gabriel's birthday party next 

week would be rained out. She started trying to reassure me that it would stop, that it was supposed to be sunny all weekend and then proceeded to asking me how the first year had gone for me. I started gushing, telling her how it went too fast, that I remember the first nights at home as if they were yesterday. I remember not wanting to sleep because I just wanted to watch him sleep. I told her how every moment was amazing, even the sleepless nights and breastfeeding struggles. She interrupted me and asked me when I gave up on breastfeeding. I told her how we were still breastfeeding and she gasped and almost hit her jaw on the floor. "You're still doing it?" she sneered "he's almost one!". 

I told her how it was my goal to go to one and I worked really hard to accomplish it. "Well, you know he's not getting the nutrients he needs. You should have supplemented with formula so he could get all the vitamins he needs. Now he's probably malnourished." she stated. Now I almost hit my jaw on the floor, who the hell does she think she is to tell me this? My kid? Malnourished? I told her that he was anything but malnourished since at his 9 month appointment he weighed 26 lbs and is right on track developmentally. I don't intend on bashing any formula feeders, but my choice was to breastfeed. 

As I stated earlier, it hasn't always been easy. I could have given him formula if I wanted to. I hate pumping at work, I have to pump in a bathroom where people are always pulling on the door and pounding when I don't come out. It's annoying, and I hate it but I do it because I want to breastfeed. When my supply was low I'd feel like the world was going to end because the thought of having to hang up my udders was horrible! Teething sucks, he would bite and grind at my nipple and I would cringe but I never thought of giving up because of this. 

My freezer was stashed with little lansinoh bags of frozen breastmilk, we couldn't buy frozen foods because nothing fit in the freezer. Everytime I would open the freezer I would want to pat myself on the back because I managed to get such a huge stash of frozen milk. At one point I calculated about 300 oz! 

So for this bitch to come up to me and give me crap for still breastfeeding just drove me up the wall. I hate unwanted advice and input on the way I am raising my son. I plan on going to 18 months, I'm not sure if we'll make it but I am not going to stop breastfeeding because other people aren't happy with my choice to do so. 

All Gave some, Some Gave All

Remember 9/11/2001 and those that lost their lives on that day!

God Bless 

America!

Old Macdonald Had a Farm...

Lately, this has become Gabriel's favorite song! He cracks up whenever he hears it. His favorite part is when I say "Old Macdonald had a cow" and start mooing. He tries to moo too! And when he watches his Baby Macdonald video and the cow comes on the screen he starts to screech and points at the cow and tries to moo at it! It cracks me up how much he likes the darn cow! I hope it's not because he sees some resemblance with me and the animal!

Almost there...

I looked at the calendar and realized how close it is to my son's first birthday, eleven days from today he will be 1 year old. Time sure has flown by this year. Gabriel's godfather had his baby girl yesterday and it really made me think of when Gabriel was born. I still remember how happy I was  to see him for the first time and how I had never experienced "love at first sight" until I laid eyes on my baby boy. I was remembering the car ride to the hospital and how we saw a ton of Volkswagen Beetles on the way there, and since the husband and I always punch each other when we see them, thinking how if he dared to even mention the bug I would slam his head against the window. I remember everyone telling me that my contractions were really strong and very close together and that he would be born before the end of the day but I wasn't dilating and didn't have him until the next day. Although it was painful, the pain seemed to dissipate as soon as I saw him. Now, to see him crawling around, attempting to walk, being a goofball and just acting more like the toddler he is becoming, is amazing. God could not have blessed  me with a better son than Gabriel. He is my whole life now and it makes me so sad to realize that he's no longer a baby. We're almost at the toddler years!